Into the Void

Well now, today was the day that I had the first of my two exams for my Maths GCSE course. I'm glad it's over, not looking forward to the second one on June 1st, not sure how well I did (I know that I guessed the answer to at least 4 questions) I'll just have to wait and see.

I have recently come to realise that my attraction to big women and women with big breasts is actually an addiction, in the same sense as my alcoholism is. One of the things that marks out an addiction of this type is the continual repetition of an action hoping for a different outcome despite the fact that it will not happen. With alcoholism this means drinking, and getting drunk, in the hope that it will solve all of your problems, which it clearly never will. I have the same thing going on when it comes to big women and women with big breasts, I continually watch them (either in person in the street, although not in a stalking way, or on television) hoping that one day they will bear their breasts to me, thus turning me on, despite the fact that (with the obvious exception of pornography and/or anyone connected with it) I know it is never going to happen, but still I watch and I hope, and all this whilst having a wonderful big woman at home that I love and that loves me, and that I would never cheat on, I must be mad.

Why is it that when I get a medium cappachino from Starbucks I get three quarters of a cup of coffee and one quarter of a cup of foam, but when I get a large cappachino I get half a cup of coffee and half a cup of foam? I'm sure I'm getting less by ordering more!

I want to thank everyone for the comments left on my last entry, not feeling bad about it really but felt confused about how flat it left me for a while. Still, maybe I'll try again next year

Well, things are slowly getting back to whatever normality is around here and we are all doing ok.

That's all from me for now, see ya!

Well, here I sit. I fell at the second hurdle, unfortunately, and so won't even make it to the TV auditions stage. Maybe next year, if I can bothered, or maybe I'll try Britain's Full Of Weirdo's or whatever.

Not that I'm bitter, I think that anyone that looks like me and is over 45 and goes into something like The X Factor thinking they could win it and become a global recording artist is more than a little deluded. The strange thing is that I didn't really expect to feel as sad about not getting through as I do, it hasn't made me feel down, just normally sad.

All I can think is that they obviously had their quota of fat, middle-aged, alcoholics with a heart condition for this series and so that's why they said no

So now back to what passes for normality, back to family and trying to get prepared for my first Maths GCSE on Monday.

Anyway, that's all from me for now (Nick I will e-mail you over the weekend in reply to your message) see y'all

So I had a day and a half on the 6th of May, but in the end I got through the first round of auditions and now have to go to the next one this Thursday, if I get through that then my fizzog will possibly be on the TV doing an audition to the four judges proper. We shall see

Other than that, and the ankle pains from all the standing and walking done on that day, things are going ok...ish. I've been a bit down, on and off, Nic seems to be doing ok but I have been feeling lately that we are not connecting as we used to (don't know why, might be to do with the very active little boy we have), Pete is fine, bouncing off the walls a lot of the time and pushing his boundries as well as learning and developeing quite well. So all in all pretty much ok.

Well, that all from me for now.
See y'all