I sit here sometimes and wonder why. I'm not sure what the answer to that question is or even if I truely understand the question it self, but all I do know is that I wonder why. I can't say for certain exactly what it is I'm wondering why about really, not that that really matters much either.

Why is it always when I feel at my quietest that the screaming in my head gets louder and louder, maybe it's just that I can hear it clearer or maybe it is really louder.

I don't see darkness much anymore, which is a good thing, but the light and colour that I do see sometimes seems very bright and far too vibrant to me, but at least it's not darkness.

It seems to me that much of the periphery of my life has fallen away and either has become or is becoming either pointless or just undoable, but I suppose that in the end that becomes true for almost everyone who is not one of the chosen few.

And behind, above and through all of that, that bitch that has held me captive for so long is still there and every now and then just gentle taps me on the shoulder to remind me she's still around.