What a few days we've had. Pete has got a cold, picked up from his big brother we think, so have we a bit. All in all this makes things fun. He's not too bad, got a cough and a bit of a snotty nose, and has been a bit difficult to settle to sleep, but otherwise seems ok. We're alright but tired.
It seems that my last entry was a little misunderstood by some, although stuckinarut seemed to get the idea, so I thought I'd try to explain a little better.
My counsellor and I have worked out a few things about my cycle of depression. Firstly, due to the counselling, I can now see the beginings of a depression coming on and have a much better idea of when it's going to hit. Secondly, we have worked out between us that I have a tendancy to try to find ways to deliberately brake myself out of a depression without either trying to see what was the trigger or useing the depression to deal with the issues at the root of it. By this I mean that sometimes you need to take time to use the depression to mourn losses and come to terms with feelings, thoughts and memories, and unless you stay with the depression (without actually wollowing in it) you cannot do that. If you come out of it quickly you are not in the right frame of mind to actually look at these things in the way that you need to. That is what I, and my counsellor, meant about staying with my depression, I hope that explains things a bit better.
I am still in the depression, but nowhere near as deeply as I was and have started to deal with some stuff in my own head and time. This is the first time that I have been able to stay with it long enough to really start doing this and I'm hopeing I can stay with it long enough to come out a bit better and happier than I was before.
Anyway, enough of that, hope you are all good and I'll be back soon.
http://menomamauk.blog.co.uk
23/10/07 @ 04:31