Yes indeed, that's exactly what I am.

Just to let everyone know everything is going ok, Niki went to see the midwife today and was told that her blood pressure was high but as she wasn't showing any other symptoms of any problems the midwife sent her home and told her to rest instead of sending her to hospital. I had my usual counselling session today, I know they are helping but I sometimes come out of them feeling more down than I did when I went in and those session always leave me feeling a bit drained but for some reason are quite often on the same days that I have the most trouble sleeping. We had a visit today from Becca, Jay, Lauren and Scott, which was really great, it sometimes feels like ages between the times that i see them and I miss them a lot, Scott is coming to stay for the weekend which will be nice and hopefully we can go out and do some stuff, if the weather holds out.

Only about 20 days now until the baby is due, although Niki is convinced that they've got the dates wrong and it will turn up before the 8th of next month which is when she has to go for her last scan, but we shall see. We've got most stuff done ready for the baby but there are still a few bits and pieces to sort out.

I've been wondering why so many posts lately have been 'Friends Only', it seems a bit odd to me to have a public forum that you then close to all but a few people, but I understand that each of us has their own way of doing things and some feel the need to blog this way (not to be confused with the famous Aerosmith song) and I don't want anyone to think that I am saying anything against them for blogging in this fashion, I just bring it up because it has been on my mind a lot recently when reading other peoples blogs.

I used to be all things to all people, or at least I thought i did, I tried to be. I don't know if I really succeded but I know that I used to be able to move between groups of people of varying social status and backgrounds and fit in perfectly with them, I knew how to change my conversation, attitude, and even personality to some extent in order to fit in with whomever I was talking to and in whatever setting I found myself to be. Now I sometimes find it hard to fit in anywhere with anyone, I often feel alone and that I don't really belong anywhere or with anyone. Not that being a part of a collective is what I crave, but I think that we all just want to feel that there is at least one place that we can truely feel we 'belong', and I'm not totally sure that I have one right now.