meglio e esser capo di lucertola che coda di dragone (Italian)
I want to start by thanking all of you that commented on my last entry for your wishes and messages.
So there I was, quite strangely, staying in my down when it suddenly happened that the very fact that I had talked about it with my counsellor and then blogged about it, added to a few other quite nice things happening, meant that I came out of it. Not a problem you would think, but I came out of it before I had time to do the 'mourning for the things I've lost in my life' stuff, this means that I'm probably going to have to do it all over again next time (oh, joy!). And now I find myself to be a little bored quite a bit of the time with no idea what, if anything, I want to do to stop being bored.
I had a nice visit from my friend Mr Kelly on Saturday, we chatted about all sorts of things, listened to some music and watched some TV until about 2.30am. It was great, I haven't done something like that for ages.
Niki has been a bit uncomfortable and not sleeping well for the last few days, andI feel bad that I can't do anything to stop her feeling that way. Having said that, both her and the baby are doing fine and, apart from the fact that we're going to be running tight as far as money goes, everything seems to be course and getting ready for the baby coming in August.
It's a strange thing to come to terms with the fact that I am 44 tomorrow and yet I feel almost as dis-satisfied with my life as I did when I was twenty. Don't get me wrong, lots of wonderful things have happened to me over the years and if I could do it all again there are very few things that I would do differently, but I have this feeling that I just haven't done enough with my life. I know that this one of the things that I am trying to work through with my counsellor and I think it's going to be one of the hardest things for me to sort out. It links directly with my lack of self-worth and my self-loathing, which means it's probably not going to be easy or pretty dealing with it, but deal with it I must.
Well, I'm going to leave you with a couple of links I thought some of you might like:-
