gading yang tak retak (Indonesian)

So I'm going to try to sum up one area of thought as it happened this weekend (well actually it started at the end of last week and covered the whole weekend up to Monday afternoon), in as short a sentence as possible. I'm sure it will need no further explaination, but even if you'd like some you wont get it from me.

Smile, grin, laught, idea, message, smile, stop, think, oops, initiate stop, find wrong target hit, double oops, possible meltdown, panic, initiate damage control, panic, start internal meltdown, panic, continue damage control, panic, panic, damage control worked, sigh, initiate mop-up and calming procedure.

Well apart from that this weekend wasn't too bad really. Niki had a bit of a hard time with work, journey wise on Saturday but was alright after resting a bit when she got home. We sold quite a bit on e-bay but still have lots to sell. We watched the London Marathon, I always like to see the people dressed up stupidly, running miles for charity, but thought this years TV coverage was crap, too much of the pro race and not enough of the charity stuff, plus I didn't here Brendon Foster say 'record' even once (Old Nick should know why that's funny even if no one else does). Still it was a pretty quiet weekend, all in all, and it wasn't too bad really.

Well the snooker is back on TV, which is great. Not that I'm a huge fan but it does give me something to watch when I'm awake until 3 or 4 in the morning other than the rubbish phone quiz things and repeated programmes presented with semaphore for the hard of thinking (please don't think by that comment I am in any way anti-deaf, I'm not, it was just an attempt at humour ).

So here I sit, feeling a bit bored (something that has been happening to me more often of late) and not knowing what I really want to do. I have been getting like this more and more, in some ways I can see it as a good thing because it means that my mind is starting to think about more than just chaos inside and wanting to do something other than find ways of beating me up, but in some ways I'm not sure just how good it is because if I can't find something, or at least decide what thing it is, that I want to do I may well slip back into that despondant well of feeling like it's all just a waste of time anyway, and I don't want to go back there again.

That's about all from me for now, see ya.